This was the first time I had both siblings here without their parents at the same time and lets just say the noise level was high and sibling fighting left me with little peace-lots of stress. I did learn how blessed I am to usually have such a peaceful household. My grand daughter kept my mp3 player on her ears when we were at home & she wasn't fit throwing so I didn't get to listen to my GM visualizations all week. My grandson kept my laptop the whole week so I rarely got to my support group. Breathing helped sometimes, but alas I did resort to using food to calming down. I am mad at myself (will tapp on that next) for not using my reiki or acupressure points. I have to put away my aromatherapy oils when the kids are here. And now I feel like I'm just making excuses. What the heck is going on?
While they were here, I understood it, accepted it, but now they are gone and the last 2 days I can't seem to stop-even with my laptop & mp3 player back. I start the days off well-but by afternoon feel squirelly. I don't know how else to describe it. It's been too cold and rainy to get outside. I was happy cleaning house (was physically unable to for so long) till my knee started hurting and laid down on couch with TV on and drat it ate again.
I know I'm grieving in many ways about moving 2 thousand miles away in the spring. While I'm looking forward to a new adventure-I was so aware that this is the last time I will be having my grand kids stay with me in this home and garden I love so much. The last time Gwyn (above) and I will play in my fairy garden. The last time Alex will play in the play castle we built for him. I'll be very lucky if I get to see both my daughters and 4 grand kids twice a year in the future.
The cleaning I talked about? That's the start of 2 months of cleaning, repairing and then packing and storing to be done. Two months of saying goodbye to my beloved garden, knowing I'll be lucky if a get a small veggie patch where we are moving.
My life is changing so fast and in such huge ways I admit that the "safe" visualization is my fav these days. I'm glad I'm not weighing in till Jan. 9th because I actually fear the scale after this week. Though my clothes do still fit the same.
Writing this down-out in the open-is helping me finally want to do some serious EFT work and get to the root-be it fear-grief of the move or something even deeper. I finally feel ready to explore the inner me a bit deeper.
BTW I did have a lot of fun times with the kids. I was able to walk the whole zoo for the first time in over a decade. I drove a go-cart. What a blast! I was able to keep up on all the park playgrounds as well. I did so much physically I wore myself out. All in all, an eventful month and I am ready to clean up my eating patterns as I clean my house in December. I just watched a nutrition video that has me thinking of how I approach eating these days on "Ask Heather" over at GM. Also saw a new "Ask Brian" about depression and a workout for those of us doing sitting workouts that was helpful as well. My "new Day" starts NOW!